Both of my kids are potty trained?!

When I had two babies in diapers I DREAMED of the day they would both be potty trained. I mean I thought that was where it's at - the top, my friends! Two behinds that do their business in the toilet, yes!
When my son turned three and still did the deeds in a diaper I thought we were doing something wrong. We were not capable of potty training our son! I potty trained a Chihuahua for crying out loud - I can potty train my highly intelligent 36 month old boy! It was a stressful battle from the beginning. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months...Huggies 1,546...Momma 0. We made headway in the tinkle department around three and a half - but the refusal to do #2 on the commode was maddening! Let's just say having to put a diaper on your HUGE 3.5 year old at a work BBQ because "Momma I have to poop right now!" is pretty embarrassing. The day that poop hit the toilet (2 months before he turned 4, but who's keeping track?!) I cheered like LSU was winning a National Championship (uh-emm). Thank goodness there was no regression from that day on - because that time Sam asked if he could poop in a diaper (after we knew he was perfectly capable of going on the toilet) and I stated, "NO. You can poop on the potty or you can poop outside with Mogley (our potty trained Chihuahua.)" - yeah, that time never happened. BTW Sam was completely mortified at the thought of pooping outside with the dog...Praise the good Lord because I could have caused myself a real problem right there.
I have been down the hard potty training road, my friends. You can do it! It WILL happen!


ONE child potty trained, ONE to go!

I've heard girls are easier to potty train than boys (I mean, of course they are. What girl wants to stew in her soiled britches.) When our little lady turned two I started asking her if she wanted to tinkle on the potty? "No. I'm too little, mommy" was the response I got for months. We got her a princess potty for Christmas (and no, I was not ashamed to give that as a Christmas gift!) in an attempt to make going potty exciting. She loved it! She sat on her potty (fully clothed), she flushed her potty (cue the princess sparkle noises) 50 times a day, she put her animals on the potty (and wiped their behinds), she read books on her potty...SHE DID NOT PEE OR POOP ON HER POTTY!
One day in early March...I don't remember the date...I don't even remember what I had for dinner last night...Emma declared she wanted to wear big girl panties. Much to my hypocritical dismay (great...now I'm going to have to clean pee off my carpet...but I want her to be potty trained!!!) I dug through Sam's underwear drawer for a small pair of the girliest looking undies I could find. I know, I know, I'm a bad mom. I didn't have panties for her yet - because why waste money on big girl panties when your child won't even sit on the toilet?!! After some convincing that those underwear were indeed for girls, she put them on.


That was it. That was the day my little girl potty trained herself. She never had an accident. Not one. She's even nighttime trained...WAIT! WHAT?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!
Is MY BABY really potty trained? Am I really done? Nearly a year of hardship with my little fella and ONE DAY for my little lady. I thought she would have accidents or regress or have difficulty at night...nothing!
Now I know some of you lovely momma's are giving me the virtual stink eye right about now, and I don't blame you at all! If I would have read this story after potty training Sam, I would have blocked that person from my FB feed.
But I can't express how very sad I am that my sweet baby girl is completely potty trained. She didn't even need me. She proudly picked out her "my little pony" and "Disney princess" panties and struts around the house in them. She's so big. They both are.
Is this it? Am I really completely out of baby phase? How can this be? It seems like just yesterday my husband used an ENTIRE package of wipes to change Sam's first poop diaper. True Story.


With a saddened mommy heart I gave away the last of our size 4 diapers. It's heartbreaking to want to cling to something that blazes through time. Those phases that drive you bonkers - they don't last. You don't realize it's the last time of doing something until time has passed. I cried like a complete loon when I realized Emma had completely potty trained herself. My poor husband.
Cherish those little diapered bottoms, momma's. They don't last.


Not to fret - I have lots of other training ordeals in my future that keep me from diving into complete mommy melt down depression!
Did I mention my kids can't wipe themselves yet...

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Mommy is sick?!

It happens to the best of us. Head colds, stomach bugs, sinus infections...to name a small few. It happens to my children quite frequently (even though I hole them up like little hobbits and douse them in sanitizer), my husband every so often, but me...I seem to make it through the grueling winter months with little to no side effects. I think germs and I have a mutual understanding - I will come at you with everything I have and you will leave me alone.
I don't get sick very often - much to my husband's amazement - I wipe one runny nose after the next, catch vomit in a pale, clean up diarrhea (what? don't you know how glamorous it is to be a mom?), administer all kinds of vitamins and medications, and am on constant call for snuggles, and yet - miraculously - I come out of these situations ALIVE, ok that's dramatic, I come out of them infection free! I think my husband secretly thinks I am super woman...this is not an illusion I wish to dispute.


So, yesterday when I developed a nasty, persistent little head cold, it appeared to be the end of life as we know it. My husband lovingly said, "YOU'RE sick?! What?! Uh...should I make dinner?" My kids apparently thought I was kidding because they proceeded with life as normal. Screaming, spinning in circles, demanding snacks and stories, and covering my entire body with stuffed animals while I tried to "rest my eyes" in the recliner.
This morning, however, it was quite visibly clear to even my four year old that I didn't feel so hot. When your four year old BOY notices that you're looking a little sub-par, you have reached the bottom, my friends. "Oh, momma, you don't look nice. What's wrong with your eyes...and your nose...and your voice? Ewww...uh, bless you." Oh, the sweet, sweet sentiments of a toddler. I had to explain to my chivalrous little fellow that mommy is sick.
The look of horror that crossed this little man's face was one for the photo album. "You're sick? How did this happen? What are we going to do? Who is going to take care of us?" The freak out was REAL! Apparently my head cold is Sam's apocalypse. Poor Sam.
Now, my two year old daughter, you know, a sweet, precious, loving little lady with maternal tendencies...UH NO! Not only did she not notice my visible ailment, she didn't care. When I explained to her that I was sick (I have a pounding congestion headache, could you please not scream at that decibel?) she giggled and replied, "hehe, mommy ate a flu bug." ....I have no words.


First of all, it's not the flu (It's not a tumor! If you can't place this reference we may not have much in common!), speaking of the flu - do you feel ok, does your tummy hurt, do you need to throw up? - No, ok then.
I don't have the flu, I have a cold. "Are you cold, mommy" "No, I'm not cold, I have a head cold. My nose is stuffy and I have a bad headache." "Oh...so your head is cold. Wear a hat."
"CAN I HAVE FRUITY PEBBLES FOR BREAKFAST?!"
And on went our day...


The best part of the day - I mean aside from the congestion, coughing, watering eyes, inability to breath through my nose, and pounding headache - was when Sam immediately said, "Oh momma, you're sick? Let's pray for you! Dear God, please help momma feel better. Amen." Boom - right there - totally and completely worth it! Bring on the ailments. My sweet little man turns to God in times of need. Amen to that.


Now if you will excuse me, I must snort some saline spray, inhale my albuterol, take a decongestant and head to bed.